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Humans are naturally geared to talk, to converse with others and to exist in community.
In my work with business owners, I have noticed that these interactions are MORE essential to creating change than most other actions we take.
When business owners isolate themselves or refuse to speak of a particular component of their business that causes them stress, its impacts are felt throughout their life and business.
Today, I’m sharing an interview between Natajsa Wagner and me that speaks to the idea that ‘human conversations’ and conversations around difficult topics are the first steps to creating any change you’d like to make in your life or business.
I hope that you enjoy this 13-minute recording. Tash’s wisdom is life- and business-changing. In the interview we cover:
HOW CAN WE IDENTIFY CONVERSATIONS WE ARE AVOIDING?
We speak about ignoring a niggling feeling, and how to identify the emotional and physical signs of the stress caused by suppressing what we need to say. That sometimes we need objective support, because when we are close to the situation it can be difficult to identify the underlying challenges.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON’T GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS?
Natajsa speaks about how we don’t give ourselves permission for self-expression, and how the suppression of our natural urge to reach out and connect with people can be exhausting. We also discuss how this suppression doesn’t stop the stress hormones, which are still circulating in our bodies. Feelings of fear, judgement or shame may bubble up, and we miss out on helping other people have courage. When we share, we normalise sharing to others. And if we don’t address the built-up emotions, they bubble (or erupt!) to the surface when we least expect it.
HOW DO WE START OPENING UP?
There is an explicit need for safety and support when starting difficult conversations, that can be created by a no-blame, no-judgement, no-unsolicited advice-giving environment. At times, we need professionals to help us begin these conversations. And that social support is the biggest protection we have against stress and other emotional health issues.
Natajsa shared many wise words in this interview. One point that will remain with me is that when shame arises, the real message in the shame is the need to connect and the need for the support of other humans in my tribe.
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VIDEO INTERVIEW:
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Usually due to the fear of being judged…we might tend to isolate ourselves.
The wider impact that has on our lives, and in society, is that it actually disconnects us in moments when we need the most support, and we miss out on the connection and support that could be available to us from other people.
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AUDIO VERSION:
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It’s not a luxury to be supported and speak about ourselves and lives, but a biological necessity.
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This interview cemented ideas for me around how we have been encouraged to NOT speak about particular topics, money being one of them.
And in not speaking about them, it keeps these areas of business and life emotionally charged, confusing or isolating.
The result of this is people and business owners not being able to fully express themselves, thrive or be who they are at their core. So I will leave my favourite quote from the interview here:
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The number one predictor of human happiness is the quality of our relationships.
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY IN TOUCH?
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Please join the Financial Insights community.
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I know business owners don’t have a lot of time for scrolling. So I share my in-depth research + experiences, new business finance practices, upcoming availability of 1:1 work, group catch-ups and monthly client openings first with this community via email.
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