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“Our relationship to self-confidence and doubt is one of the most important elements to address when looking at the expanding of our Financial Capacity.”
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We’ve been peeling open the layers and layers to this puzzle I’ve called our Financial Capacity. And this, our relationship to confidence and doubt is the next layer.
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But first let’s see how are you feeling about all of this? Let’s do a check-in.
What have you discovered about how the shortfalls of modern-money advice? I pretty much called it utter rubbish in the link above.
We also have delved into how to uncover generational differences and parental influence is impacting how you think, speak and act around money. What did you find out here? Who has greatly impacted your view of money?
Then we headed down the path of looking at societal structures and agreements but most importantly how they are either help or hinder your financial wellness. How has your social identity shaped the way you make, circulate or retain wealth?
And then last week, we covered how the monetary environment impacts your financial capacity in regards to influencing your behaviour in 5 key ways. How do those 5 points impact your actual everyday life and business financially?
I know for some people this is overwhelming. And for others this is fine tuning. And that’s ok.
This isn’t a place for judgement or criticism. Use exploration and curiosity as your compass.
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“Too often society has told us that we need to feel confident to take action or move forward. And you know what this does, it just keeps us stuck in inaction.”
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- increase fear
- indecision
- inaction
- incongruent action
- judgement, shame and blame around money
Instead of aiming to eliminate doubt, and striving for absolute confidence (which I think it not actually attainable), I’m suggesting we take another approach.
What if we shape our relationship with self-confidence and doubt to work for us, rather than against us.
I think we have accepted that for us to take action we need to be sure that it is the correct action, or that we are sure of the outcome. But instead, what if we create our own perspective around doubt or lack of confidence when it comes to our finances or business decisions.
What if we decide:
- taking action, with doubt coming along for the ride, is more important than being sure, exact or perfect
- to use insights (data) and instincts (intuition) to make the best possible decision at the time
- what if we give ourselves grace and compassion to an unknown outcome, like we do with doctors that can’t guarantee an outcome or solution. They are making the best judgement at the time with the information they have.
What if we write our own list of ways we can MOVE THROUGH doubt as opposed to try to eliminate doubt in our financial lives. This is one of the most impactful ways you can expand your financial capacity.
I personally love Amanda Owens quote:
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“The reality is that feelings are not static. They shift and change throughout an hour, a day, a week, a year, and a lifetime. I don’t feel confident about myself 100 percent of the time. Neither do I feel insecure or anxious 100 percent of the time. If I decided that my self-worth had to be in tip-top shape in the exact moment that I received a compliment or other gift, I would be in danger of having to refuse much of the good that comes my way! Nobody feels super-über great about themselves 100 percent of the time. Nobody. Not men. Not women.” Amanda Owens.
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So in considering loosening our grip with being confident before taking action, and instead finding strategies and ways to move through doubt, let’s start a discussion.
1. What ways do you in other parts of your life move through doubt?
For example, if I am facing doubt around another task, I seek out someone who’s done it before.
So one step might be, who do I know with similar values that has gone through this before?
Also when facing doubt, where else do we seek sound advice?
How else do you move through doubt in life?
2. When faced with an experience of severe doubt, how do we deal with this to eventually take action?
For example, we may first calm ourselves and not make a decision in a heightened emotional state.
In business this may be learning phrases to say when feeling heightened emotions.
In the corporate world, I learnt many phrases to deal with fast-paced, swift speaking executive’s. To try ensure I regain my ‘centered-ness’ before moving forward on a task or piece of work.
Like,
“Thank you, I’ll think about your proposal and get back to you”.
“I would like to take time to think about this decision, I’ll get back to you.”
“I’d like to weigh up the pro’s and con’s of this and get back to you.”
Finding ways to slow down the decision can be helpful.
3. If you find yourself facing stagnation or ‘stuck-ness’ due to doubt then it may not be about slowing down, but gaining some momentum or action.
One of the ways you can explore this is by looking at fear, usually the root cause of doubt.
You can try a Fear Inventory, write a list of everything that worries you if you take the wrong action. And then asses which are ‘perceived’ threats and which are ‘true’ threats.
I find looking over the fear inventory of clients very informative.
Can you see a theme in yours?
I hope you find these exercises helpful. I’d love to hear what comes for you.
Till next week gorgeous business owners, where we will be diving into the final theme, which is Understanding You + Money.
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